Have you ever had that moment? You are folding your clean laundry, grab a pair of pants, and suddenly realize the exact size of your ass when compressed to two dimensions? It's a lot like looking at Greenland on a world map. You know that what you are looking at is not really how things work in 3-d, but you can't get the image out of your head, either.
Lately I have been working on these knee socks, and I'm pretty excited about them. I've been working with the sock tutorial on HJS Studio and things are going great.
Everything except this:
That is the calf of my sock.
I have long known that my calves are larger than the average girl's. After years of failing to find knee socks that fit, returning stockings that I couldn't even pull up, and wincing at the thought of enduring another zip-up boot, I'm over it. I have big calves. Big, athletic, muscular calves. My only regret is that I don't excel in any sport, so their presence can be difficult to explain, especially when they are commented on by strangers (and, good grief, strangers do comment on them).
But something about this custom-fit sock has had me baffled for almost a week now. I can't take my eyes off it. I can't quit trying it on and staring at my own leg in slack-jawed wonder. I have some seriously big, muscular calves! ...Should I be wearing horizontal stripes?
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
Yesterday we had our first "wintry mix" of 2008! "Wintry mix" is a magical euphemism for a whole lot of crappy precipitation. (After carefully Googling the term, I have confirmed my suspicion that the wintery mix is a nearly exclusive mid-Atlantic meteorological phenomenon, and therefore I am clarifying.) It may include, but is not limited to, snow, sleet, freezing rain, and graupel.
In other words, "wintry mix" is totally unpredictable and we, as a city full of important people, have no option but to go nuts and buy all of the milk, bread, toilet paper and water we can find.
Personally, I believe that this shopping list leaves out many of the essentials for surviving bad weather. On days like that, when you step in 500 Slurpee puddles on the way home, the only thing to do is to eat a huge bowl of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich.
I have my own little strategy for avoiding the all-too-common predicament of finding yourself sitting down to a sugary-tasting bowl of Campbells. USE BUTTERMILK. This miraculous liquid, of which I simply cannot sing enough praises, produces the greatest, richest, tangiest tasting bowl of soup you can imagine. Especially if you add a can of diced tomatoes (opt for no salt added!).
And those, by the way, are my home-made cotton knit pants. I wish that I had made them a little less low-waisted, but as one friend pointed out they ARE perfect for practicing Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease. Is that a complement?