Sunday, March 8, 2009


I was noticing this week how old and worn out my hands look. I feel like they have aged more quickly than the rest of my body. But, maybe I have a skewed perception as to how old the rest of my body looks.

I feel like spring is finally here, and I took a few walks and spied all kinds of tiny flowers. There is something about spring that always makes me feel very relieved.

At the same time, there is something about spring that causes me to collapse time in my mind. It feels like every spring is the same spring. Something that happened 3 years ago happened yesterday.

It is the same confused feeling that I get when I wake up. I have to piece together what is real and what is a dream. Why I am waking up. Where I am. What I am doing. This sounds much more dramatic that what I am trying to convey. I guess I just feel groggy.

As if I am coming out of hibernation.

I feel like I do spend most of winter asleep. If not hiding under the covers, I am bundled up and very blind to the tiny things happening all around me.

It makes me feel small and young again.

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